Marriage
I don’t want to get married for sex. The teaching that we wait for sex until marriage, can unintentionally create in us the pent-up desire: ‘I want to get married for sex’. I don’t want someone to marry me for sex! That is also objectifying me as a sexual vestibule. Likewise, I don’t want that to be my primary desire for marriage.
Married people know that the actual time spent having sex is like 0.1% of marriage. I want to marry for 99% other things besides sexual desire. Likewise, I want to be married for 99% other reasons – that our love be based on other things.
I want to get married beneath the fruit of self-control; beneath the fruit of contentment of a carefully tended riverbank of my desire. Sexual desire flows through us, at times at a more intense pace. It’s part of our wonderful, God-ordained design. May my desire be a peacefully flowing stream with well-tended riverbanks, not an overflowing dam-busting whitecap gusher.
If the idea of marriage came from God’s heart, then it makes sense that He is more than able to fulfill the desires for marriage that come from our hearts.
If the idea for marriage came from God’s heart, and these desires for companionship, to be desired, and to be cared for are God-given desires, then of course God is more than able to fulfill these desires - in whatever way He knows as best.
Marriage is a beautiful thing from God, but so is singleness. I feel that I am able to love better now that I’ve had this time of intentional singleness, finding all I need in Him. Before, I thought that guys were the only source of this type of love and my heart was continuously thirsting for this. I find now that my heart is full, grounded, and secure. And on days where my heart is feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed with desires, I know that all I need to do is sit at the feet of Jesus to find that peace again.
Singles do not lack a single necessary thing, more specifically, singles do not have access to less love in their lives than married people. Jesus’ love for each of us is actually more than we have need for.
Quote from The Gospel Coalition:
“Many who are presently single will one day marry. Others will remain single throughout their lives. But no Christian is single forever. Human marriage reflects the marriage God wants to enjoy with his people forever. The Bible speaks of Jesus as the bridegroom who will one day return to take his bride, the church, to be with Him in the perfect new creation. On that day all pain will disappear, including the pain of a difficult marriage or singleness. God will wipe away every tear from our eyes and a great shout will be heard; “Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready” (Rev 7:17, 19:7).
After we had spoken about Heaven, an elderly single lady said to me, “I can’t wait for my wedding day!” We should all share the same hope. And we can already experience something of that intimate marriage with Christ here on earth by the work of the Spirit in our lives. Human relationships do matter, but none is nearly as important as our eternal relationship with Jesus.” 1
[1] https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/four-things-god-says-singles/