Are You Feeding Your Sexual Desire?
After sexual desire was woken up early in my life, it was so hard to master it. Is it possible to put back to sleep what was wakened in the wrong manner? As a single, I want to live with my sex drive lulled to sleep as much as possible.
Journal Entry, Age 31
I thought about sex for a moment, but when I remembered where that thought pathway leads... to frustration, to impossibility to resist temptation, to strengthening of ancient memories that don’t belong in this time, I asked Jesus for help in controlling my thoughts.
As a single, how do I quiet my sex drive? I’ve found that not feeding it really, really helps!!! Contrary to what some say (that masturbation is a way to manage sex drive in singleness), I found that masturbation actually wakes things up, and makes my sex drive feel even more hungrier. (Day 32 covers four reasons why I choose to not masturbate.)
Are you feeding your sexual desire? In what ways are you feeding it? Are you finding yourself watching stuff you normally wouldn’t want to be watching? Are you finding yourself longing for things you don’t have right now?
If you’re thinking about sex more at a particular time, or feeling yourself drawn to the temptation of watching something sexual, you can ask yourself:
- What am I filling my eyes with? Maybe take a break from Netflix and social media. You can watch a preview of a new show on Netflix and BAM! Sexually suggestive content. You can be scrolling FB and without notice... BAM! Sexually suggestive content.
- Is the timing related to my cycle?
- Is my heart lacking connectivity?
Sexual desire/emotional arousal may also become more intensified when the heart is lacking connectivity. “Loneliness and boredom and a lack of healthy emotional connection are the top three reasons people run to sexually stimulating entertainment.”1
1. Am I first and foremost connected to Jesus?
This is why my time with Jesus is not a checkbox on my to-do list, but it’s as vital as my meals for the day. It’s vital for me to ensure that more than just reading my Bible, I have MET with Him; I have CONNECTED with Him. I can really tell when I haven’t connected with Jesus for a couple days. Sit at His feet and don't leave until your hunger and thirst is filled. If you need to, get up an hour earlier.
Journal Entry, Age 36
Last night I was caught off guard by a kind of ‘emotional arousal’ - projecting my desire to be ‘wanted’ in that way onto someone who is not my husband. Later, I realized how my eyes were not on You, Jesus. I have known You to show me how You want me, chose me, care for me, deeply love me, and in that moment I chose to look to another source. Help me to guard my heart - to keep my heart connected to You, that I would not be caught off guard.
2. Secondly, who has God placed in my life as friends? How can I nurture my friendships in a way that they provide mutual healthy connectivity?
[1] https://truelovedates.com/3-ways-to-avoid-porn-during-quarantine/