Process to Freedom
Journal Entry, Age 37, December 11
What does it look like for me to delight myself in You? Teach me from Your Word, Lord. I want to learn how to delight myself in You as first place in my heart. I want to learn to rejoice in You in hard times and in joyful times, then I will know that I have learned to rejoice in You always.
Even as I said yes to His invitation to discover what ‘delight’ means to Him, during that first week I found myself bombarded with unfounded anxious thoughts. I knew that His will for me in this time was to discover His joy, and so I fought any attempt to steal this! Taking Philippians 4:4-7 literally, I sat before Him daily, and presented all of my anxious thoughts to Him in prayer and petition with thanksgiving, and as He promised, His peace came to guard my heart and my mind, and the joy that followed was truly breathtaking. As I talked with Jesus and handed over all these things to Him, the feelings of heaviness and anxiety were tangibly removed and replaced by lightness and joy. The next day, if that worry or anxiety returned again to plague my thoughts, I reminded myself that it is already handed to Him! Why will I take it back again? I was learning to "die daily" (1 Cor 15:31) to the fleshly lifestyle of worrying.
Rejoice1 in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?... So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek2 (search for, desire) first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:25-27, 31-33
The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1b
Jesus, I know that anxiety, worry and fear are the thieves of joy. Each day, may I begin my day first with You, shutting off all other distractions, putting app blockers on my phone for the first moments of the morning, whatever I have to do, to come to You first each day.
Then will I go to... God, my joy and my delight. Psalm 43:4
Then will I go to God. To obey Your word and say NO to worry and anxiety but instead, in every situation, present my requests to You. And be satisfied each morning by Your unfailing love, that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days. “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” (Psalm 90:14)
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Psalm 5:3, 11
Journal Entry, Age 37, January 20
Throughout these ~40 days of discovering what ‘delight’ means to You, strangely, yet possibly divinely, in the midst of difficult circumstances where there is nothing else to do but keep my eyes fixed on You and rely on You to carry me... it has been in this place that You have shown me what ‘delighting yourself IN the Lord’ is based upon.
Knowing You... knowing Your goodness, love, care, and faithfulness, and simultaneously knowing that You are God Most High - trusting You in all things, to the end, even as Abraham did. To fear You is to trust You completely - this faith pleases You! To bless the Lord (praising the Lord by speaking what is right and true about Him, even (especially?) during times of believing without seeing), with all that is within me, regardless of what storms come. To rejoice IN YOU, always, in the joyful times and the trials, because of who You are. You are worthy to be praised ALWAYS. And experiencing the joy and peace that surpasses understanding that comes from this knowing.
Paul said, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” (Phil 4:12b) Wow, Lord, show me more.
Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Psalm 103:1 NKJV
[1] Strong's Greek 5463: A primary verb; to be 'cheer'ful, i.e. Calmly happy or well-off; impersonally, especially as salutation, be well.
[2] Strong's Greek 2212: To seek, search for, desire, require, demand. Of uncertain affinity; to seek; specially, to worship, or to plot.