I’ve been single for 12 and a half years (at the time of writing this section, age 37). It hasn’t always been fun nor easy (but probably the same can be said about marriage, no?). When I began to hear several of my married friends say that the one thing they regret was not savoring their time of singleness (eagerly waiting for it to end – does that sound familiar to anyone??), I was inspired to discover what singleness is for. These friends told me, “Don’t take your single time for granted. Savor each day, enjoy all the blessings you have, because after marriage there are different blessings, but you can’t have your single time back again, even if sometimes you want to.”

Every human experiences singleness, so there must be some God-ordained purpose and blessing to discover during singleness. I was inspired to discover what there is to celebrate in singleness, and how to live joyfully and victoriously in the midst of the longings and desires that are a God-given part of the human design.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
Psalm 143:8

I want to follow God’s leading in things like where to live and what jobs to take, so how much more do I want to follow God’s leading in something as binding as marriage?! I strongly believe that it is better to be single than to be married to someone who hasn’t been pursuing healthiness.

Jesus’ life proves that singleness is not second-best nor does a single person lack anything they need. He was single throughout His life, and was healthy, whole, content, and joyful. I believe that the ability to walk out singleness like Jesus did is available for us too.

I take this verse literally: “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:19).

I believe with all my heart that God knows what we need and gives us what we need. Right now I don’t have a way to express sexual desire, but I trust Him in that too, and consider this is to be a season where He wants to strengthen me in mastering my sex drive. I trust Him that He has not left singles alone, and that He has a special way to be everything they need. Fueled through those longings for a companion, I walk towards Him in expectation and faith. I believe that the design for marriage is a reflection of God’s relationship with us, and so those longings He put in me can drive me into Him, and be met in Him.

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8

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