This year I had to do something particularly anxiety-inducing. Every time my eyes flitted downward to the ‘what-if’s’ swirling around me, my heart would pound so fast - just like when Peter was walking on the water and then began to look at the wind, and felt afraid (Matthew 14:29-30). And as SOON as I lifted my spiritual eyes to Jesus again, the peace was automatic.

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3 NKJV

Journal Entry, Age 33

If my eyes are on my singleness, I am shaken. If my eyes are on my age and the ticking time, I am shaken. If my eyes are on my prospects, I am shaken. If my eyes stay on GOD, I will never be shaken. And He does not take His eyes off me (Job 36:7a).

Journal Entry, Age 34

I felt mad at God again... over my singleness, after another “could he be the one??” didn’t pan out. But I will not stay there, I will not stay mad at God as I did in that premature relationship where I didn’t know God’s love. I WILL TRUST HIM. I WILL KEEP MY EYES ON HIM. Even if I don’t get the desires of my heart, I WILL STILL PRAISE YOU. YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR ME. I AM FULLY FULFILLED IN YOU.

Journal Entry, Age 36

Sitting in the passenger seat - eyes on Jesus - HE is driving the car, not me! Your plans are better than my own - far better. What joy to be led by You! Knowing that if storms come, if things don’t go the way I thought they would, it means You have a Better Plan. THIS is how to live free from worry!

Journal Entry, Age 37

I was thinking about the various short-lived crushes I have had in the last few years... what each had in common is that their hearts were not turned towards me... their hearts were always turned toward someone/something else. Lord, help me protect my heart from these feelings. The man You have chosen for me, his heart will be turned toward me! His heart is turned toward me even now! Help me to keep my heart turned toward You! And Your heart is always turned toward me... I don’t want to dwell on my attractions for men; to have feelings for men that aren’t mine... it entangles my heart. It’s good practice - to have eyes for only one... and it is a parallel of having eyes for only One...

You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes.
Song of Songs 4:9

Talk with Jesus

My eyes are ever on the Lord. Psalm 25:15a

But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign Lord; in you I take refuge. Psalm 141:8a

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121

What are You speaking to me about this? How are You leading me to respond to Your love?

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