Process to Freedom

When there was no one else, this was where You showed me You are ENOUGH.

During that time, I’m thankful the people around me were listening to God – in the things I was struggling with leading up to “the Desert”, they told me to go directly to Jesus. Honestly, it was shocking and almost hurtful when I was first told to go directly to Jesus. By myself? I felt abandoned by humans – the human connection I had depended on so much. You want me to go, physically alone, to meet Someone who is just Spirit? But I will still be physically alone! I was so stuck in that mindset.

But it was the best advice. I discovered Jesus from there. From the inside-out, He met me. Being strengthened in my spirit, finding that I am fully loved in my spirit, and finding that He is always with me in my spirit, trickled out into the physical. I found I was physically strengthened, loved, and not alone.

People would say, “You are not alone, Jesus is always with you!” and I would say to myself, “Ok, I’m not alone, I’m not alone, I’m not alone,” thinking that if I said it enough I would believe this counter-intuitive idea. But as I persevered in this truth I transitioned to knowing it by experience. Now I don’t have to force myself to believe it anymore. Sometimes, I still have to choose to believe it when I don’t feel it, but I’ve already learned that it is an eternal, immovable truth.

Jesus became the number one priority of my heart. I cannot understand exactly how it happened, but it happened in the desert. I want Him to always be in that place, that nothing would ever replace Him. When we always have people we can go to, sometimes, we can miss out on diving deeper into our relationship with God. However, sometimes life will take us into places where we are totally alone and if we let Him, God can help us learn to be satisfied when there is literally no one but Him. We can then bring what we have learned - that He is our First and Sufficient - into every season of life.

Are you finding yourself in a desert season? Or a scarier question yet, would you allow Him to lead you into a desert season? It was definitely one of the hardest seasons of my life, but likely one of the seasons I drew nearer to God than ever before, in a way that lasted. Not just a moment of nearness, but I was permanently changed. Let Him lead you. I am convinced that priceless gifts from God are found in the desert season.

... to him who led his people through the desert; His love endures forever.
Psalm 136:16