Desperately, with nothing and no-one, yet sovereignly led to the desert, I found His love. Finally, refusing to turn to other things, and realizing I didn’t need to turn to other things, I turned to Him and found out He was all that I needed.

Journal Entry, Age 33
Thank you God for removing me from all other sources for a period of time to find Your well and finally taste of Your water and know that it truly is enough for me never to thirst again. My eyes were opened to see You.

I learned to see the well in the desert, like Hagar, and to drink from the well. My eyes were opened to see Him.

My ears had heard of You
but now my eyes have seen You.

Job 42:5

The Desert is where I learned to quench my thirst from the Well.

My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water. Jeremiah 2:13

Now go and sin no more. John 8:11

If we know how our thirst can be quenched in Him alone, we will not sin against Him by forsaking Him, the spring of living water and digging our own cisterns that cannot hold water.

The journey of purity has been a process of examining the needs in my heart that I have tried to fill in my own way, and identifying which are spiritual needs, only able to be met by God.

Humans are both spiritual and physical beings, and just as we have physical needs that must be filled by physical things (shelter, food, friendships, etc.), we have spiritual needs that can only be truly filled by the things of God (His continuous love, true satisfaction in Him, etc.). If we “dig our own wells” (Jeremiah 2:13) to fill our spiritual needs in a physical way apart from God, we will find they are unable to hold water, and we will find ourselves continuously thirsting.

If I try to meet the deepest longings within me through physical sources, I will find myself constantly thirsty and insatiable. Those closest to me will feel frustrated and drained because I will look to them to satisfy me when they were never designed to be able to. That is a place for God alone. Once we experience God satisfying our spiritual needs and learn to live in contentment in every season of life, I believe we can then fully enjoy the physical blessings He gives us.

I believe that fasting in the area of my sex drive helped me move beyond the physical - hearing my flesh cry out and answering its call - to move into experiencing how my needs could be satisfied in the spiritual realm.

What is the thing that you have turned to in those brief moments before you would see Jesus, hence robbing yourself of waiting it out for the only One who can truly satisfy? What if you fast this thing, and feel that incredible discomfort of feeling like you have NOTHING. But endure that, just for a moment, and see what you find.

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