Memories and Thought-life

... Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

Journal Entry, Age 25
Last night, I was being bombarded with images of scenes with exes and I asked God to open my eyes and show me what is going on. I saw a demon inserting images, one after another, into my head. So I prayed out loud, angrily, against it. Maybe that’s the secret, while I’m learning to get mad at the enemy and fight it, to ask God to open my eyes to what’s really going on.

If you have had a lot of experiences/seen a lot of things, the mountain of memories can feel infinite. The idea of ever truly being free of them feels impossible.

Journal Entry, Age 34
From time to time, I still find myself fighting memories, even after a decade. What do I do about these past memories?

But, by His stripes, we are healed (Isaiah 53:5). Jesus’ blood shed for you and me has the power to heal EVERY SINGLE LAST memory. Every memory of things you did; every memory of things that were done to you, washed through, washed away, under His forgiveness, under your forgiveness, by faith.

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1

If I ‘watch’ those memories, inevitably, I get tripped up. I do NOT want to be entangled again with a yoke of bondage! So rather than ‘watching’ them, when memories come, I choose to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5b). The memories become less strong as I remember them less.

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Many people spend their lives being angry over what was done to them. As followers of Jesus, we can actually be washed, be free, love our enemies; where memories have no hold on us anymore.

If at any point during the PureHeart Challenge you feel God is showing you that you need deliverance, please follow his leading. If you have that available to you already, great. If you don’t, please ask God to show you who to talk to about this. Jesus came to save, deliver, and heal! This is what is available to each and everyone of us.

‘Unwanted’ vs ‘Wanted’ Memories

God gave me a strategy for when ‘unwanted’ memories come. But when wanted memories come... this is another battlefield altogether. This has been one of my biggest challenges.
When I am in times of struggling with singleness, of wanting to be loved by a man, if I keep these desires to myself and keep God out of it, I find myself looking to memories to feel loved. Those memories are of times when I felt loved, held, and secure – even though those memories are based on false intimacy, I settle for them because the feelings felt real in those moments. When I find myself drawn to these memories; when I find myself seeking pleasure in those memories, I know that there’s something going on. There’s some need in me that I’m subconsciously seeking to fill; my flesh is reaching out for something. What does God have for me? If I hand these desires to Him; talk WITH Him about them, my hands are empty to receive what He has for me in this moment of need.

“God, You love me. You care for me. I am secure in You. Show me the truth about those memories, though it may be really hard to see. Pop the balloon where there is deceit tied to those memories. Where I’ve sought comfort in memories – take this ‘comfort blanket’ away from me. I don’t want it anymore. I don’t need it anymore. Break these emotional ties in Jesus’ Name.”

He shall supply all my needs (Phil 4:19). I take this promise literally.  “God, I give You this need, and I thank you that you have a way to meet it.” He knows what we need, more than we know. Our Maker knows us better than we know ourselves, so we can trust Him as Provider.