Self Control

Journal Entry, Age 34
After a nice long period of a chilled out sex drive, I woke it up. Regardless of the various factors that contributed to it, it woke up. That part of my body was yelling at me to pay attention to it. To answer to it. To meet its needs. But I no longer serve my sex drive. I’m no longer mastered by my sex drive. I serve Jesus.

I fought hard. I walked out what it means to submit my sexuality to the Lordship of Jesus. This is more than just being celibate. This is more than just not masturbating. This is in the private moments, within the privacy of just yourself and your sexuality and your memories and your feelings. The inner place - the motives of the heart. Even in those spaces, let your sexuality not reign, but reign over it. Bridle it, just like James instructs to bridle your tongue (James 1:26).

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. Romans 6:11-13

This is more than “choose purity to avoid negative consequences”. This is next-level. Following Christ even unto death to self. Self-control looks like dying to self – dying to what you want, dying to how you want to get what you need. Reining it under self-control; not under control of your desires.

“To adorn myself with self-control” (from 1 Timothy 2:9 ESV)

I am not my own. I was bought with a price. Therefore, I choose to honor God with my body. I honor God with my body by adorning myself with self-control. It looks like stewarding my sexuality with self-control, which is a fruit of living by the Spirit, and keeping in step with Him, even in the secret moments, even in the space between sexual desire and before any outward action, in the thoughts and the motives of my heart. Self-control is a product of a life satisfied in spiritual intimacy with Jesus. (Days 51-54 are on the topic of spiritual intimacy.)

If our desire is to honor God with our sexuality and our hearts... He will absolutely show us the way to walk this out. He is our Maker, after all.