Journal Entry, Age 38, December 12
Am I ‘dead’ to this desire? What does that even mean?! Will You lead me to fully surrender my desire to be married.
December 20
I wrote in my journal in September: “I die - surrender - fully give to You the way in which meeting my husband will happen. The timing, the everything. But now, 2 months later, I know You’re asking/leading me to fully give You the desire entirely - no conditions - no strings attached. For me this looks like unclenching my hands from this and handing it fully to You.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways, know Him, and He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
What does the word ALL mean in the original Hebrew?
That all is SO important to You... You are the God who gave everything...
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32
Be imitators of God, therefore, as beloved children, and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2
I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20b
Any place where I have said “NO!” I lay these things on the altar.
Journal Entry, Age 19
To experience the joy of the Lord is to live in total surrender to Him.
Journal Entry, Age 38, February 28
Today You showed me clearly... undeniably that Your timing is perfect. You are completely trustworthy with my times - the timing of my life. I can take my hands off things I have entrusted to You. To “die to” worry about it. Cuz it’s in the most capable hands.
With my whole heart, and with my whole life, and with my innermost being, I bow in wonder and love before You, the holy God. Psalm 103:1 TPT